Killing Jokes

Three guys die and go to hell.

When they arrive the devil informs them that he is going to remove their penises.

"Oh, how are you going to do it", asks one of the guys.

"Whatever your fathers jobs were, that's how I'll remove them" says the devil.

So he calls over the first guy "Your father was a lumberjack... So I'll cut it off with a saw"

To the second guy he says "Your father was a blacksmith... So I'm going to burn it off"

As he calls the third guy over he notices he's smiling.

"Why are you smiling, you just watched me remove your friends penises" says the devil.

"I know" replies the man "but my father was a popsicle maker"

Jokes Jokes funny Jokes

last night i wanted you,

i needed you so badly it hurt,

i wanted to taste you,

wanted you in me to work you magic on me...

but i couldnt find you...

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Funny Hindi Girl climbs up a tree. A monkey was sitting on the tree

Monkey: Why are you climbing up?

Funny Hindi Girl: To eat apples.

Monkey: But this is a mango tree.

Girl: I know, I brought apples with me.

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I love you in blue.

I love you in red but most of all.

I love you in bed.

--

Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people)

like NIKE (just do it)

like PEPSI (ask for more)

like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited)

and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..

Jokes on Two Ants

There are two ants living in a girl's pair of panties.

One day they decide to go exploring in the caves. They said to meet back in the same spot in and hour.

So, one ant went in one cave, and the other ant in a different cave. After an hour went by, the two ants met back up.

One ant was covered in brown, sticky, smelly stuff. "Eeew!, What was your cave like" asked the other ant.

"It was nice at first, but it soon became really smelly and the walls were all dark and sticky" replied the ant. "So how was your cave ?".

"Well" he said, "It was lovely at first, all pink and warm, but then this bald guy started head butting me and then spitting on me."

Jokes Jokes n jokes

Teacher: why are you late?
Student: My dad told me to take our cow to bull.
Teacher(Angrily): Can't your dad to it?
Student: No, only BULL can do it.
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I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. =)
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Hair oil ki ad mein hair dikhate hain, Skin cream ki ad mein Skin, Toothpaste me Teeth, Footwears me Feet, par WHISPER ki ad mein kuch nahi dikhate????
Jaago Grahak Jaago!
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A notice in a factory for girl workers.
"If your skirt is long, protect yourself from machines at work.. If it is short, protect yourself from men at work"
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Please
( ) press down!
( ) )

( ')
/ /
( ) ) oh yeah !!!

( ')'.:,".;.
/ / ';".',,'
/ / ooohhh
( ) ) baby ur good!
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A man was looking at a painting for a long time of a naked woman with leaves covering the body, he was asked what he was doing and he answered - waiting for autumn.
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A cat tries to get a sausage out of a river, but gets its paws wet, then it see a bigger one but falls in! MORAL OF STORY? The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy!
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A cat and a rooster sat by a lake, the cat fell in the lake, the rooster laughed! LESSON: when there's a wet pussy, there's a happy cock!
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A Sex expert was once asked whether a rape is possible while running. No, he replied, woman can run faster with her skirt up than a man with his pants down.
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A man had "I LOVE YOU" tattooed on his dick. He went home and proudly showed his wife. "There you go again, trying to put words into my mouth", she said.